A Journey of Love

By Sister Paula Gohs, CDP

My vision of religious life was framed by the gracious Providence women whom I “grew up with” at the Catholic grade and high schools I attended. It was a real joy to be in the presence of women who were quite obviously in love with Jesus Christ.

In 1963, wanting Jesus Christ to forever have a first place in my heart, I professed my vows as a Sister of Divine Providence. It was one of the happiest days of my life. My first years of ministry were as a high school teacher. It was difficult and “rocky” at first, but good mentors helped me through and I lived into a love of teaching.

Youth and idealism prompted me to believe that by age twenty-five I would achieve perfection in loving Jesus Christ. Of course, it did not happen, so I generously gave myself five more years. At thirty I was still short of the goal! It was then that I changed my focus from product to process, destination to journey. Seeking to find God’s redeeming love in the present moment, rather than in driving toward the end product presented daily challenges. Eventually, I found myself savoring the people who crossed my path, rather than rushing past them intent on service of them and God. This experience opened me to a deeper living out of my ministry and a more authentic witness to God’s love.

Vatican Council II called women religious to renewal, to openness to the Spirit breathing anew among them. This was a time both of excitement and fear among us as we unearthed our healthy roots and unpacked the crusty soil built up over two centuries. For me the most powerful renewal was in reflection on the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. Each vow took on a more deeply positive thrust: poverty as simple living in a world of consumerism, chastity as honest and loving relationships in a world of infidelity, obedience as openness to hear the daily calls of ministry in a world dedicated to personal fulfillment and security. I grew into more respect for the gift of God’s love–ever faithful in the midst of a broken world.

Working for justice and peace became a more urgent longing in my heart and a more and more insistent call from God. I became more passionate about the issues of justice that came before me in my daily interactions.

In response to these urgings and longings, I moved into Hispanic ministry on the Mexican border where all my assumptions about ministry and minority cultures met with challenge. I was the stranger in the community, feeling like a child beginning all over again. I struggled with the culture, the language and loneliness. I learned the implications of being the “guest” in another culture. I learned there are many ways to express what is deepest in the human heart, and I found myself humbled and speechless. It was a profound death and resurrection experience unlike any I had experienced. Abandonment to Divine Providence was never absent from my prayer and meditation.

My Providential journey continued as I began Diocesan work in justice and peace and immersed myself in multiple issues of systemic change. I engaged the power brokers who shape political, economic and social policy. This was much different than the daily interaction with the folk whose lives were touched by the policies of our world. I continued to work with an Hispanic community during this time in Diocesan ministry. 

While working with systemic change, I knew in my bones some of the frustration Jesus must have felt with the establishment of his day. In sharing the struggle of people to understand and challenge unjust systems, I wrestled with patience and trust.

Now I am working as a pastoral minister in a small parish in western Kentucky where I feel blessed to be among both Anglo and Hispanic peoples. Creating an inclusive, welcoming church community in Carrollton holds many challenges. The dominant image in my prayer life is that of walking on water with eyes fixed on Jesus Christ. I dare not look down!

Sr. Paula Gohs is a pastoral minister at St. John the Evangelist Parish in Carrollton, KY. She has been a Sister of Divine Providence for 38 years.